Chris Foster

A Lesson in Life

In life, I’ve gained some hard-taught lessons.

But the hardest was losing the one most precious.

Now, looking back, I see it was all my fault.

Blinded by ignorance & pride, I alone created that loss.

I hurt you repetitively, never once putting you first.

Back when I was your Religion and heaven on earth,

I lied, I cheated, and I abused your trust and your mind.

Breaking your heart & spirit, disappointing you all the time.

Yet you gave me my 1st child

and that still didn’t stop my reign.

And you just smiled hiding my viciousness, concealing your pain.

I was a monster and still loved me with your all.

And never for one second had I put your happiness in my thoughts.

I was stone-cold F-uped.

Going in and out of jail.

On visits, sending money, and mad letters weekly

And what do I do? Argue and complain frivolously repeatedly

And when freed, I smashed any that granted me passage.

Even slept with your friend, in our home, on our mattress.

Then we lost a child and my brother within the same month.

I lost my mind and wished to die at any cost.

You even cut the rope I hung from,

and saved me when I had Od-ed.

I didn’t care, I just sniffed more blow and popped more E.

Yet you consoled me at every chance that you could.

And my selfish, foolish ass, did nothing but take and take.

Now, even after all this time, my pains never ceased.

As I continue to sit idle in a cell, my heart knows no peace.

And my reborn soul yearns now for your last love and presence.

But rationality grips my reality, you are gone forever.

And the pain, excruciating, but likely nothing compared to yours.

So I just accept the inevitable that, that chapter is now closed

As a lesson learned that …..

Most love that’s lost can never be recovered.

So honor & appreciate your Significant other

because people will bend til they break, but once broke

Love manifests into hate……..

Chris Foster

Time Spent

Time Waits for no one

Leaving closure to the wind

as cell doors imprison your memories.

Hiding away all the what-ifs.

Thru sleepless condemned nights,

the silence echoes the masses’ pain

of tortured restlessness and regret.

Where hope rapidly fades

there the comforts of sympathy are rare.

And any sign of weakness, your prey

As manipulations mastered

and hatred’s normally conveyed.

Time never ceases.

Lag and you lose in life’s race.

Dying internally in a dry cell.

Conscious, you are somewhere out of place

Hopeless with no foreseeable future.

An expendable slave … warehoused,

A captive of self-inflicted consequences.

Until your families are notified and your deaths pronounced,

time is merciless and favors no one.

It seizes you and suffocates

drawing all your happiness from you

and injecting an institutionalized mind state.

Transforming your vulnerable soul

and cages your sullen heart.

Feeding off your insecurities

tearing your mind all apart

But only the strong survive

and adapts to times mannerisms

by utilizing stern discipline

and avoiding its blatant misery.

How are doing your time?

Because it will corrode you till you break.

Unless your thoughts are prevailing

and your drive inte-relate….

Chris Foster